All Tuckered Out...

These were just too cute not to share. I should have posted them before the corndog pics, but I didn't think about it until I had already posted that last post. Ethan and I were trying to get ready to leave Sunday afternoon to meet family for lunch. He was so sleepy and wanted me to sit down with him so bad. He was pulling on my legs and crying ( you know how they do when they want your attention ); so I decided I would sit down with him for a minute. About the time I got sat down with him and he got comfortable, I thought of something that needed to be done before we left, so I sat him down in the rocker and said, "Hang on, baby. Mommy be right back." I went to do whatever it was that needed to be done and when I came back around the corner to sit down with him, this is what I found....PRICELESS!!

For The Love Of A Corndog!!

Yesterday was such a BEAUTIFUL day!! Ethan and I got up and met his Grandma Jane, Aunt Alysha, Uncle Adam, and Cousin Abriana for lunch. After we had lunch we decided to run to Wal-Mart and then go back to their house. Well, Grandpa Chuck had different plans and we all ended up and Dan Nicholas Park!! It was so much fun. We let the kids ride the "horsey's", visited the Petting Zoo, and then the other Zoo. Finally, we were all tuckered out and headed to the concession stand to grab a little snack and something to drink. I got a corndog, a large water, and a bag of duck food; and off to the lake we went. When we got down to the lake, I sat Ethan up on the brick wall while I got everything situated. When I looked at him, I just couldn't resist taking a few pictures of him. His grandpa had bought him a Conductor's Hat at the Train Station, but it was much too big for his head, so he was wearing it sideways. And his clothes are mismatched because he decided to take a head first dive into a mud puddle at the bottom of a slide. He was a mess!! But still the cutest little thing!!

David's Birthday

Today would have been David's 23rd birthday and I just wanted to share a few photos of him in his younger years. He was only about a month old in the first one and I'm not 100% sure about ages in the others, but I'm sure you can put a round about age to them. Today has really been a struggle for me and I think that I've been struggling more for Jane than for myself. You don't truly understand a mother's love until you have been a mother yourself. I cannot imagine carrying a child under my heart 9 months, feeling every little kick or hiccup, then being in labor for hours to give birth that child. Then spending the next 21 years loving him and caring for him. Nursing him when he is sick, singing him to sleep, making so many memories with him, just to have him ripped away within a moment's time. I could never fully understand why my mom had such a hard time on Andrew's birthday after he passed, but now I know exactly what she meant. They say that there is no love like a Mother's love and that is so true. But you don't realize it until you are a Mother yourself. Please keep Jane in your prayers. I called her at work this morning to check on her and she seemed to be holding up well, but you could hear the hurt and emptiness in her voice. I have only had Ethan for 14 months, but just the thought of losing him right now literally makes me sick to my stomach. I just can't fathom being in her shoes. I didn't give birth to David and only had him for one of his birthdays, she did give birth to him and had him for 21.... There is no comparison.

Mommy's Cookie Monster

I got in the mood yesterday afternoon to make some sugar cookies. I managed to get the dough mixed and cut before Ethan decided that he wanted to be right there with me. I sat him up in the booster seat at the table and set my wire cooling racks on the table in front of him (if you've ever been in my apartment, you know I have absolutely NO counter space, so normally I end up having to use the table as well as all of my counter space.) As I pulled the cookies out of the oven and placed them on the racks to cool, I was saying to Ethan, "Hot. Don't touch, Ethan. Hot." He leaned up and started blowing them to cool them off. I kept repeating myself as I turned to go to the closet and grab something to clean off my counters. I didn't think he would touch them since I had told him they were hot, but when I got back around the corner, he was sticking his little fingers in them. As the crumbs would hit the table and cool, he would shove them in his mouth. I thought it was so cute and decided I would share these pics with you. The first pic is of him blowing on the cookies to cool them. I just love the way he puckers his little lips...LOL.

Ethan's Boo-Boo

This is probably an odd post, but I just couldn't resist sharing these pictures with you. Early yesterday afternoon, Ethan was in my room waiting on me to get ready to leave. He bent over to pick something up and hit his little head on a corner on my desk. Of course mommy freaked out worse than he did, but quickly came to the rescue. I just had to thank God!! ...Just another half an inch or so and it could have been his little eye, and not his head, that got the damage. After a cold rag and an ice pack combined with a little bit of mommy's love, he was back to his old self. After his bath last night, I decided to put a little bit of children't neosporin plus pain and a band-aid on it to help with the healing process. I have seen neosporin advertised to help with scars as well as healing so I decided to try it out. I really didn't think that he would leave it on for long, but decided to give it a shot. He actually did very well with it!! I had to change the band-aid once and that was because I decided to be nosey and took the first one off to check it out. Anyways, about 1:15 a.m. I was finally able to get a few pictures of him with his band-aid on. Yes, he was still up and right on my heels at 1:15 a.m.!!! He has gotten to where he won't go to bed without mommy, so he was following me around the apartment while I got all my cleaning done. He was laying on the bed watching me get my room cleaned up when I took these. I just recently figured out that I have a black & white setting on my camera and I LOVE IT!! I just had to take some in black & white. I just love all the little faces that he makes and he decided to make a few for me while I was taking these pictures. Hope ya'll enjoy them!!

"God's Mouth Is On The Trumpet"

My mom just called about 15-20 minutes ago to inform of something that happened today. Allen's girlfriend called and shared this story with him. It is a true story that just happened today to a friend of Allen's girlfriend and I wanted to share it with you.
She said she was driving down Dale Earnhardt Blvd when she passed a homeless man walking down the side of the road. She said that as she passed him, she felt very strongly that she needed to turn around and go get him. So that's exactly what she did-she turned around and went back to pick him up. She said he climbed in the backseat and was extremely quiet. She asked him if everything was alright and he simply stated, "God's Mouth Is On The Trumpet". She said, "What?" and he repeated, "God's Mouth Is On The Trumpet". She turned to look at him and he was gone. She said she was so shaken up by the experience that she pulled over on the side of the road. Not too long after, a police pulled in behind her and approached her window. He asked her if everything was alright. She told him "no" and then told him about what had just happened. The police then told her that this was the SEVENTH time in the past week that this had happened and to sit there as long as she needed to.
When my mom called, I was sitting on the couch with Ethan on my lap. I was flipping through the TV channels and he was drinking his bottle, dozing off for the night. I quickly turned off the TV and sat there for about 10 minutes just thinking about things. I have been having very strong feelings lately and this story just confirmed things for me.
It was about 6 months ago, I had gotten Ethan ready for bed and was getting ready to make his bottle when I realized that I had left the formula in the car. I simply put on my coat and slipped out the door thinking that Ethan was in the living room and would be okay until I got back in. When I came back in, I made his bottle and went to get him. He was gone. I couldn't find him anywhere!! Now you have to remember that I live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, kitchen, and living room apartment. You can actually stand in my living room and see into every room in the apartment. I looked EVERYWHERE and could not find him. I went from room to room and back to room to room. I was in a panic and the only thing I could think was that the rapture had taken place and I had been left behind. That threw me into even more of a panic. I did eventually find him. He was sitting in a corner in his room with his basket of books laid on its side. It was hiding him perfectly.
Then just a couple months ago, my mom and I had to run to LOWE's. She was there to pick up something that had been left earlier and also to purchase something else. She asked me to run to the service desk and take care of one thing while she went to the self-checkout to take care of the second thing. I finished up before she did and headed towards the register where she was checking out. I saw her bend down to pick something up, but she never stood back up. She just disappeared. My walk quickened as I headed towards where she just was at. She wasn't there so I began to scan the crowd. Finally I saw her. She had finished her purchase and was headed toward the service desk to catch up with me. Once again, the first thing that hit me was that the rapture had taken place and it sent me into a panic.
Ever since those two incidents, I have been feeling more and more that the end is getting closer. I wake up MULTIPLE times during the night in a complete panic because I reach for Ethan and he isn't in the spot that I thought he was. Throughout the day, I catch myself hollaring for Ethan because I can't seem to find him, all the while he is right under my feet. The fear of the rapture taking place and me getting left behind has been almost overwhelming lately. I haven't talked to anyone about it, but decided tonight to ask you all to pray for me. I have struggled for many years with Church and God. I was doing better around the time that David and I met and he actually told me that one of the things that attracted him to me was the fact that I was different. He could tell just by talking to me and being around me that there was something different about me-something that he wanted a part of. David did a lot of changing in the months that we were together. He told me at one point that he had never had a Bible and he really wanted one. The next day, I went out and got him a Bible and had his name engraved on it. He loved that Bible and after we were married, I would come home from work at night and he would be laying in the living room floor reading it. In fact, I opened it up today and it is still marked at Genesis 18-19. That's as far as he got, but he had such a hunger. He just couldn't get enough. I remember going to Church one Sunday and the preacher talked about Adam and Eve. He leaned over and wanted to know who Adam and Eve were. I told him to wait until after Church and I would explain. He got angry with me because he didn't want to wait. He wanted me to tell him right then and there. He did wait though and after Church, I told him the story of Adam and Eve. Another night, he wanted to know where to find the 10 Commandments. I told him I didn't know for sure, but I would find it for him, so I sat down that night and using the Concordance in the back of his Bible, I found it for him. I remember him taking the Bible from me and reading the 10 Commandments. He was in awe that it was there and he was able to read it for himself. He told me later that he had wanted to ask where to find it for a long time, but felt stupid because he didn't know much about the Bible. I told him to never feel stupid to ask me questions about the Bible, that if I didn't know where to find it, we would find someone that did. David didn't like to talk about death, but a couple weeks before he passed, he made the comment to me and one of his long-time friends "I don't want to die, but when I do, I know where I'm going!" He was so sure of where he would spend eternity. Here was a guy that didn't even know about Adam and Eve when we met, but less than a year later knew beyond a shadow of a doubt where he would spend eternity. I feel deep in my heart that David DID make it to Heaven and the only reason he did was because he saw something different in the girl that worked at Mr. Pocket's Deli in Rockwell.
Since David's death, I have become so bitter and angry. I am bitter and angry because God took the man that I loved more than life itself. He took my baby's daddy and it doesn't seem like I will ever have my whole life back. I don't want to go to church anymore and 9 times out of 10, I don't. I am so ashamed of myself for letting myself get to this point. I don't want to miss Heaven and I surely don't want to be the reason that someone else misses it. My desire to walk with the Lord and make it to Heaven is strong. There are lots of things that I am confused about, but want to do the best I can in my walk in this life. I want to be that mother (if the Lord does decide to wait years and years to return) whose kids will look back and admire me for my walk with the Lord. I want to be that mommy that when my kids need prayer, they have the faith to come to me because they know my prayers will go higher than the ceiling. I am asking that all of you please say a prayer for me. Pray that I can completely let go of my bitterness and anger. Pray that I am able to find answers within myself. Pray that I am able to find peace with what has happened in my life. And please don't pray only for me...Pray for my Dad, and my brothers. My dad has struggled with similar problems as me for years. Please pray that his eyes will be opened before it is too late. Thank you everyone in advance for your prayers. I know that many of you are prayer warriors and I need all the prayer I can get to keep me on the straight and narrow. May God Bless You All.

Snowy Fun

I'm a little late posting this, but figured I would go ahead and post it anyways. Monday, when we had all that snow, Ethan and I got in the car and went over to his Grandparents to play in the snow. They really don't have any hills to sled on, but Grandpa Chuck got up early that morning and went and got a sled anyways. He would put each one of the grandkids in and pull them around the yard. Abriana didn't seem to mind it, but Ethan was having no part of it!! Towards the end of our play time, someone got the idea to sled down the embankment by the road, so that's what we did. Adam (David's brother) went first with his little girl, Abriana; and then Grandpa Chuck took Ethan down. He wasn't happy at all about it!! Later in the day, I took Ethan back out and gave the sled ride another try. This was the only way I could ge him to ride-to lay him down in the sled. Grandma Jane and Aunt Alysha was watching us from the window and when we got back in the house, Aunt Alysha was laughing so hard, she was almost crying!! Hope you enjoy the little video. If you listen REALLY close, you can hear him start crying again once the ride is over. LoL!!!